Disclaimer: Archerland neither features nor condones intergenerational (boylove) stories or relationships.  This article is presented only for it's writing advice.

Introduction: Many times I've started a purported family story at Nifty Archives (usually recommended by a well-meaning reader) only to discover as the story progresses that it's a thinly-veiled boylove story burdened with many of the clichés below!  This article is included because the author presents good solid writing advice in an amusing and forthright manner.

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Boylove (BL) Rescue Fantasy Clichés:

Avoid them at all costs!

You know the kind of stories I'm talking about. The ones that seem
designed solely to get a boy living together with a BL man (either for a
'father-son' relationship or a sexual relationship or both). Usually the
guy meets a needy urchin on the street and takes him under his wing,
giving him the loving home he never had.

I don't believe that just because the primary purpose is BL
wish-fulfillment that the storyteller is allowed to abandon common sense
and the duty of telling a good story. I've been reading a lot of these
stories lately (hey, I need my fantasies gratified as much as anyone) but
I've been disappointed with how corny and clichéd many stories are.

I'm gonna run down the list of some of the worst I've noticed. I know I
may end up sounding bitter and cynical, but fuck it. It's the writer's
fault if a story hits too many false notes. Realism in plot and character
is essential to make a story work. And if the story doesn't work then the
fantasy doesn't work either.

Cliché 1: The Rich Lottery Winner

Why is it that the main characters in these stories are all conveniently
wealthy? Either they hit it big in the stock market or they're some
Infotech hotshot or their parents died and left them rich at an
impossibly young age. And of course there're the countless lottery
winners. I think BL's must win the lottery more than any other group, if
these stories are to be believed.

I read one story where the guy won the lottery AND had a huge
inheritance.  The writers seem to think that if their BL is to create a wonderful new
life for the boy, he needs to have money to lavish gifts on him and buy
him new clothes and take him on trips...

Such bullshit.

Unless there's some kind of criminal behavior involved, rich people are
boring. How much more interesting a story would be if the BL was
poor/middle class and had to make real sacrifices so he could take care
of the boy. Like if he had to forget about buying a new sports car so he
could pay for the kid to go to soccer camp or if he had to sleep on the
couch in his one bedroom apartment so the kid could have the bed...

Cliche 1 (supplemental): The Solitary BL

So often the BL man is cut off from any familial relationship. Most
likely because the writer killed his family off for the inheritance
money. So we end up with a guy living all on his own in a 5 room mansion
on a 10 acre estate and no one to call on the phone. I think in part this
reflects the secrecy and isolation that BL's feel in their daily lives,
but more often than not it seems as if the writer thinks this will make
it easier for the man to incorporate the boy into his life.

Why make it easy? Complications make a story interesting and also give
the man an opportunity to prove how much the boy means to him. I want to
see how a guy deals with his parents telling him he shouldn't take the
boy in. Or suppose he's already got a family of his own and his kids
aren't happy about adding the boy to their life (sharing their room for
instance)? What happens when the man has to give up wild nights on the
town with his buddies so he can stay home and help little Billy with his
homework? How will his friends respond? How will he?

Cliché 2: The Magic Lawyer

This guy is amazing. He can get adoption papers filed and approved in a
week while regular people have to wait years. I guess because of the ever
present threat of persecution/ prosecution, it makes sense that BL's
would have good lawyers as their best friends, but how to explain the way
this guy can fix all the legal problems involved with a gay single man
gaining custody of a child in record time? He should have his own action
figure. It would be part of a set that includes The Miraculous Social
Worker, The Amazing Doctor and The Big-hearted Cop.

Cliché 3: The Monsters at Home

So just why does our poor little boy need some BL loving? Well, because
his parents/ guardians are the vilest most horrible people alive. That's
the classic set up for these stories. They boy is given a nightmare home
life, which is why I term these stories 'rescue fantasies' in the first
place. Now I got no problem with the idea of the boy needing rescue, but
sometimes the portraits of the parents are so one dimensionally evil that
they cannot be believed. I remember one otherwise excellent story about a
cowboy staying at a ranch that I actually stopped reading because the
pure malice the writer put into the boy's caretakers made no sense.

(Also, I think I'm going to scream if I have to read another speech that
goes anything like this: "My Dad found me and my best friend playing with
each other's dicks and he slapped me around and told me to get out
because he didn't want no 'fucking faggot' living in his house."   I'm aware that that kind of thing is, tragically, all too common, but it's been done to death. Find another way of putting it over)

I acknowledge the evil of this world, but really, there's other ways to
show a kid in need of help. Suppose the kid's mom gets sent to jail for
dealing drugs on the side (to have money for her kid in the first place)
and the kid gets left on his own? Will the boy still stay with the man
who's taken him in after his mom gets released? How about if the abusive
dad isn't an out and out monster, but a man having a genuine struggle to
control his rage? Then you'd have a boy torn between the BL taking care
of him and the father he loves, but who is bad for him.

The point is that while it's necessary for story purposes to give the boy
an unfortunate past, there's no need to make the people in his life into
caricatures. Evil is much more menacing when it's believable.

Cliché 4: The Instant "I Love You"

So, the man meets the boy, takes him home, cleans him up and promises him
he'll be safe from now on and our boy responds by hugging him and saying
"I love you".

Excuse me? These two met about what - 24 hours ago? (In one story, the
boy was declaring his love for the man about 6 hours after they first
met.) I hate to sound like a grinch, but love don't work that way.
Especially when you're talking about abused and neglected children. They
tend to have all kinds of trust and intimacy issues. No matter how nice
you are to them, they will wait a good long time before deciding that you
aren't a threat much less that they love you.

Of course, winning the love of a boy is kind of the whole point of the
story fantasy, but I find many writers, especially inexperienced ones,
rush right to it. (like a teenager rushing to bust a nut). But they
defeat the whole purpose of the idea of winning a boy's trust and
affection if it takes hardly any time or effort. That's why I generally
find that mainstream stories like Heinlein's 'Citizen of the Galaxy' or
Holland's 'Man Without a Face', do this better than BL stories. They
aren't over eager to hear those magic words so they take their time to
portray a realistic bonding in a man-boy relationship. One with setbacks
and wariness. That's why the relationship in The Sixth Sense worked so
well. Bruce Willis had to work and work and work to get the boy's trust.

And think how much more amazingly better a BL story would be if the boy
in the story didn't instantly see the BL as his savior. Maybe even saw
him as a potential threat.

Cliché 5: The Tear-filled Gay Revelation.

It's very popular, especially in the stories that tend to a sexual
nature, for the boy to be gay. No problem. But what I can't stand is the
staged dramatic scenes where the boy comes out and declares "I'm gay! I
know you probably hate me now. I'll pack my things and leave." and then
starts crying.

People don't act this way. Especially kids. If the boy in question thinks
the man would hate him for being gay I'm pretty sure he'd just hide it.
He's got no reason to tell a man he thinks is homophobic that he's gay,
especially if he's been a victim of gay-bashing before. We all know from
experience how easy it is to keep that kind of thing secret from people
you love.

It would make much more sense for the kid to feel out the man's opinion
on the issue first and then when he felt safe, to tell him, if he told
him at all.

Of course, the reason this cliché is so popular is that it gives the
writer the chance to have the BL comfort the child and tell him that
everything is OK and give the boy his first sense of acceptance, which is
another motif in the BL fantasy-life.

Well, it's been done to death.

It's old and I'm fed up of it. (And if it isn't the boy telling the man
he's gay, then it's the man telling the boy. Usually, it goes something
like this: "Well Billy, I'm gonna take you home with me and get you
something to eat, but before we go, I need to tell you that I'm gay.
What's more I'm attracted to young boys like you. You don't need to worry
though, because I would never do anything to hurt you." And of course the
kid goes along with him. Yeah right! 90% of the boys I know would be
halfway down the street before he could finish speaking. What man in his
right mind reveals that he's a pedophile to a boy he's only just met? It
only makes sense to do this after he trusts the boy.)

Cliché 6: Bathtime

Seeing as how the man is bringing home an often homeless/abandoned kid it
makes sense that one of the first things the man does is have the boy
take a bath.

That's logical. Still, I'm getting kinda tired of the whole extended bath
scene, especially in stories where the purpose is to let the man have a
peek at the boy.

Cliché 7: All BL's are Perfect

Perfect people are boring. The main character in many of these fantasies
is, of course, an idealized representation of the writer, so we end up
with a perfect BL. A man who is a gourmet cook and who drives a 1967
Mustang and who knows just the right thing to say to lift a boy's
spirits.

But storywise, it makes no sense that the man would be perfect
(realistically either). A man's sexual orientation doesn't affect his
personality. I know that being attracted to boys makes BL's more
sensitive to the moods and emotions of boys, but it's dumb to think that
we have all the answers for every situation. The story would be much
better if the man ended up frustrated and confused sometimes.

Even with the fact that most of our story BL's are stinkin rich, they all
seem to have a whole lot of time on their hands. They're always available
for the boy.

Why can't we have some men with real lives? Real personalities? Consider,
for instance that they're lots of straight men who are so career driven
that they don't have time for romance. What about a story about a BL
who's devoted to his job who has a boy he doesn't want forced on him? "A
BL who doesn't want a boy?" you ask, stunned. Sounds strange, huh?
Imagine how unique a story it would make.

How about a BL who's emotionally reserved and has trouble showing
affection to a boy who needs it? Or how about a man with a criminal past?
Or better yet, a criminal present? The possibilities are endless and it
means that we get to see men who struggle to meet the needs of the boy in
their life as well as all the other demands they face.

Cliché 8: The Boy Doll

He's the boy doll because all he has to do is sit there and look pretty.
Occasionally maybe he has to cry or say, "I love you", but there're dolls
that do that too.

Most of the boys in these stories are presented that way. Their
personalities move between being scared and being grateful.

Again, the nature of the fantasy shapes this cliche, since we get our
fantasy boy, one aspect of which is a boy who needs us.

But I'd like to see a story about a boy who doesn't realize he needs the
man in his life. Or maybe he realizes and isn't willing to trust him.
I've met that kind of independent boy quite often. They will only be your
friend on their terms. Which is fine. The fact that they choose you to be
their friend can be much more satisfying than knowing that the only
reason they're with you is that you're the only one willing to take them
in.

And don't get me started on all those helpful little angels who make
themselves useful by cleaning the house or doing the laundry or whatever
without being told. Let's see some boys with a few bad habits.

Cliché 9: The Daddy Complex

Lots of stories seem to create some kind of emotional mileage out of the
fact that the boy decides to call the man 'dad'.

Is that what BL's are? Wannabe dads? Can't the boy and the man settle on
a different paradigm that still acknowledges the love and care and trust
between them?

Nothing unrealistic in the kid wanting to call the man 'dad', but it's
one of those things that's been done to death and I can live happy
without ever reading about it again.

Cliché 10: The Other Boy.

Sometimes I think it's because the writer runs out of ideas, but in many
of these stories, the man will find a second needy boy to take in.
Sometimes, it's as many as three others. Once in a while, more. All this
does is rehash the idea of how cool and great our BL character is and let
us re-live the formation of the man-boy friendship.

Note to writers: If you've got nothing new to say, just type 'the end'
and we can re-read the story if we want to experience the fantasy again.
Otherwise, spend your time on the boy you already have. One well
developed man-boy relationship is worth a dozen barely examined ones.

Cliché 11: Killing the Extra Parent(s).

So what happens when the man in the story falls for a boy who isn't being
abused? Who, in fact, has a happy home with loving parents? Well, the
writer kills the parents off, of course. Drunk drivers and mysterious
inoperable cancers are the main culprits.

Are we that desperate to have a boy in our house? I mean many of these
stories have the boy and man develop a relationship quite happily with
the parents around and then the only story purpose for getting rid of the
parents is to have the boy move in with the man (after he's been named as
legal guardian in event of the parents' death in a corny 'You're the only
one we'd trust with our son' scene).

Is it really that difficult to show a deep man-boy relationship that
develops alongside a loving family environment? After all, most BL
relationships are like that. This obsession with having the boy all for
ourselves can't be good...

OK, so that's all the ones I can think of right now. I'm sure I'll
remember more and you guys can probably think of a dozen others
yourselves.

I hope any writers and potential writers find this useful in planning
future man-boy stories. It's high time BL fiction started consistently
meeting the standards of good story writing.

Comments welcome: funtails@hotmail.com