Chapter 3

"So, you got a date for homecoming yet?" Jake asked me in the hallway as we headed to gym class.

"No, I think I’ll just stay at home," I said without a great deal of enthusiasm.

"Come on," he said as he moved close so as to not be overheard, "I want to see you in a tux!" He laughed and I giggled and swiped at my ear, as his breath had tickled it.

"I can’t see the point, there isn’t anybody I want to go with," I replied.

"Well…you could ask Pam, but I think she is going with Brian." I slugged him in the arm for even suggesting I let Pam think I might be interested. She had finally ratcheted down her efforts to catch me, and we were slowly beginning to like the people we were. But there was no way I would lead her on, that’s just cruel to play with someone.

"How about Victoria Allen? I don’t think she has a date yet," he asked.

"Jake, I don’t even know who Victoria Allen is, and I don’t really think I need to go to the homecoming. What’s there for me?" I asked with some annoyance.

"Me, of course," he smiled at me. I pushed him away playfully.

"Go on, goofball, before Coach has your head on a pole."

"Can I have a kiss first?" he whispered and began to giggle as I hit him again and he stumbled away laughing at me. He could be such a dork! Gym passed eventually, as all things must, and I was relieved to get out of there. Something about that coach made me nervous, something just wasn’t…right.

I caught the bus home and walked in to find my grandmother in the kitchen, once more. It seemed as though she lived in that one room sometimes.

"How was school?" she enquired brightly.

"It was," I replied.

"I read in the paper that the school homecoming is coming up, is that ingrate taking you?" my grandfather asked from his chair in the living room. His chair was like a holy relic, a place where bile and wisdom flowed equally. The other reason no one wanted to sit there was he farted into it almost constantly, but I digress.

"I am not going with Jake, and he isn’t an ingrate," I replied as I grabbed an orange to eat for a snack. I like oranges, except that your fingers are all sticky when you are done with them. My grandfather grunted in response as I retreated downstairs and put my book bag in my room and turned on my TV. The armoire directly across from the bed had an area perfect for a TV and my grandfather had given me one, which was way cool. I flipped through the channels while eating my snack, grinning to myself about Jake and his pushing to get me to the homecoming. He was so bad, but I think he could also probably be so good as well. I sighed deeply, he still hadn’t dealt with Mike so maybe it’s time to just give up on that thought and start thinking about just having Jake as a friend, and maybe start looking around for a boyfriend.

"Logan, telephone, sweetheart," my grandmother called down the stairs. I groaned to myself and rolled off the bed, stopping in the bathroom to rinse my hands. If I touched the phone with sticky hands, my grandfather would make comments. Oh boy, would he ever.

"Hello?"

"Logan, it’s Brian," the earpiece announced. This was very unusual, Brian and I hadn’t talked since the last time I got mad at Jake, unless it was simple greetings. I think I hurt his feelings, and I felt bad, but I also felt like there was some truth in my words too.

"Um…hey, Brian, what’s up?" I asked.

"Well, I need a favor…" he stalled and I could almost picture Jake behind him, pleading and threatening and Brian giving in because Jake was being a pain. But about what?

"What kind of favor?" I asked.

"Well, see, Jake and I have dates to homecoming," Brian began.

"Tell Jake I still said no," I laughed into the phone.

"Well, actually, the favor is kind of for both of us. See, Pam says that she has a friend that wants to go, but she doesn’t have a date and since we know you don’t have a date either…" Brian fell silent and Jake said loudly, "I want to see you in a tux!" I giggled at the thought of them, Brian trying to be the mature one and Jake taking full advantage of the situation.

"No, I don’t think so, Brian." I replied.

"Well, there is more," Brian said.

"No, I’m sorry, but I don’t see any reason to go to homecoming," I replied.

"She’s a really nice girl, Logan, and she just wants to be able to go," Brian said with a bit of impatience in his voice. There was something he wasn’t telling me, or Jake had something big on him would be my guess.

"You’re going to homecoming?" my grandmother gasped as she poked her head around from the kitchen.

"Gram, I was just telling Brian that," I was cut off by Brian talking in my ear and distracting me.

"Logan, it’d be a personal favor, please? You can’t see it right now, but I am giving you my very best puppy dog eyes, ok? Besides, your grandmother said she’d give us a ride from the restaurant to the dance, so you gotta go."

"Brian, I just don’t think this is a good idea. Jake seems too out of whack over this," I asked.

"Well…I feel bad for her, ok? She’s never had a date and she really wants to go…that’s what Pam said, anyways. Listen, you want to talk to Jake about it?" he asked.

"Not really," I replied and my grandmother hovered closer to me, practically bursting with excitement.

"When is it? We have to get you a nice tuxedo, and a corsage for your date and you’ll want to take your date out to eat. Is Jake going to be your date?" my grandmother asked.

"No," I let out a frustrated sigh, "Gram, I am talking to Brian!"

"Brian, that’s his brother, right? Aren’t you worried Jake will find out you are taking his brother to the homecoming?" She was deliberately messing with me, I don’t care how honestly puzzled she tried to look.

"I am not taking Brian to the homecoming!" I hissed.

"I have a date already, but thanks. Listen, what if I promise to get Jake to be on his best behavior, huh?" Brian laughed into the phone, taking full advantage of my grandmother’s comments.

"Very funny, Bri, ha, ha, ha," I muttered.

"Anyways, I appreciate you helping out, you’re doing the right thing, Logan," Brian said hurriedly.

"Brian, wait, I never said." I was cut off by my grandmother.

"Schaedlemann’s Formal Wear is the perfect place to get your tux, I know Lenny, he’ll get us a good price," she said aloud while smiling benignly at me.

"So she’ll call you later, ok? Have a good night, Logan, and thanks, man, I owe you one," and the line went dead with me opening my mouth to protest.

"What is your waist size?" my grandmother asked.

I rolled my eyes and walked back to my room, and was about to sit down when I realized that my grandmother was in on it. She helped them trap me! I hopped back off the bed and bolted into the kitchen where my grandma was putting a roast into the oven.

"How much are they paying you?" I asked her. She looked at me with surprise, and then began to giggle, knowing she’d been caught out.

"Who says they are paying me?" she continued to giggle at me.

"Gram, Jake just wants…wait, what did you say?" I looked at her with my jaw dropping.

"Hey, Jake and I both agree you would look sharp in a tux, and besides, Valerie sounds like such a nice girl, I just know she’d appreciate your sacrifice," she smiled sweetly.

"I don’t believe this! You are talking to Jake about me behind my back? You’re conspiring with him?" I asked, incredulously.

"Or I could be making it all up," she smiled again, "Now go get the table set for dinner."

I lay in bed later, cursing Jake and my grandmother for whatever they were getting me into. I’ll just bet she did pay Brian off to call me to make these arrangements. Or Jake egged him into it. Or maybe Valerie really did whine to Brian, or, I dunno. This is so frustrating!

Needless to say, I did not sleep well that night, and to compound things Jake was teasing me at school, making me feel more and more like a trapped plaything than anything else. I could so beat his pretty little ass. I finally met Valerie, she stopped over to color coordinate with my grandmother, who was spearheading this whole debacle. I never really realized how evil she could be, I mean, I can’t dance!

Saturday rolled around and I went to the corner store with Grandpa, who was determined to get some fresh vegetables for dinner, as all of a sudden the frozen ones weren’t good enough. We stepped out the front door and he sauntered along as if Grandma hadn’t told him to not be long.

"So, has this Jake managed to get his shit together?" he asked without preamble. At least with Grandpa, there was no beating around the bush.

"Not really, no. I am starting to think maybe he’ll just be a friend. I just can’t trust him not to hurt me."

"Can you trust him with anything else?" he asked.

"Well, yeah, a little. I just can’t trust him to do right by me, to…" I groped for the right word.

"Stop being a peckerhead?" he asked.

"Yeah, I guess. My problem is he can be really cool, and the next minute it’s like it was all to get in my pants, and I don’t want to be somebody’s cure for blue balls, I want someone to love me."

"Eddie, everyone wants that. I was lucky to find your grandmother, and I have to believe that there is someone out there for you too. Maybe it’ll be this guy, but maybe there is something better out there for you as well. Just don’t forget, you have had some experience, and you learned from it. Maybe he hasn’t been so lucky as to have learned from it," he said as we walked in the door of the small store.

I distance myself from my grandfather while in the store as I wait for him to go into his silk tie routine, which is funny to watch, but embarrassing to be associated with. At last, after only one comment about silk coming from a worm’s ass, we left.

My grandfather seemed to always have one foot in the here and now, and one foot in the past. One result of this was him calling me Eddie quite often. A benefit of that was that he didn’t call me names much anymore.

As we walked in the door my grandmother got up and met us before we got too far down the hall.

"Logan, Valerie is on the phone," she said.

"Who?" I asked.

"Valerie Mazzucca," she looked at me expectantly while I drew a blank.

"Your date?" she prompted.

"Oh," I said.

"Come on, I think she wants to work out colors and whatnot," and she led me to the kitchen, and the telephone. How did I get myself into this mess?

"Hello?"

"Hi, Logan?"

"Yeah, Valerie?"

"Yeah, hi, nice to meet you, sort of," she hesitated, then plunged on, "I could kill Pam for doing this, but, I really appreciate you being my date. I thought it would be cool if we, you know, hung out or something before the dance?" she asked.

"Um, yeah, that would be a good idea," I replied.

"Ok, I’ll drop by later, if that’s ok?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Do you need the address?" I asked.

"No, actually, your grandma gave it to me when she called. Thanks! I’ll see you later tonight."

Did she just say my grandmother called her? I was getting pretty pissed now, who the hell does she think she is?

"Gram? This is totally wrong, why did you call her?" I asked.

"Because you never would have," she said pragmatically.

"I would have," I whined. I hate when I whine!

"No, you would have procrastinated just so I couldn’t get any nice pictures. Well, mister, I am getting some nice pictures of a color coordinated couple!" she smiled at me.

Pictures? Pure Evil.

Valerie and I took a walk to get to know each other away from my gram’s view.

"So, what’s your favorite color?" she asked.

"Green," I answered, "What’s yours?"

"Blue. You a sports guy?"

"A little, but mostly I like to read. How about you?"

"I love to read. What kinds of books do you like best?"

"Horror, mostly. How about you?"

"Dean Koontz is my absolute favorite, I just love ‘Twilight Eyes’."

"I liked that too," I replied.

"So, how hard did Pam twist your arm to go with me?" she asked, and I looked at her in shock. "Well, I’m not stupid, no one was going to ask me ‘cause I’m not a twig." She brushed her shoulder length hair from her face and looked at me expectantly.

"Um, Pam didn’t call me, or talk to me at all. I just, you know, heard you wanted to go so you could be there with your friends," I said but realized that if I wanted to make a friend, lying from the start was a bad thing. "Brian called me, said I could be a nice guy, you know?"

"Well, thanks for not lying anyway. Brian is such a sweetie, I wish some of that would rub off on Jake," she said contemplatively, "Then maybe he’d be nicer to Mike, who doesn’t deserve this shit from him." I choked on my words as the meaning of her words hit home.

"You all right? Logan, take it easy, breathe," she said in calming tones as I coughed and spluttered until I had regained my composure.

"What brought that on?" she asked me.

"Oh, um, I dunno, allergies maybe," I said in a distracted fashion.

"Bullshit, you are a terrible liar," she laughed at me and I gave her with a perplexed look, I am sure.

"What do you mean?"

"Jake and Mike, that’s what got you. I know about them, Pam wasn’t real happy about Jake, you know, so she still talks about him, who he is with…who he is fucking, literally and figuratively. He done screwed Mike over, left that boy a mess. He does nothing but mope, in fact, I thought you and Jake might be knocking boots by now?"

"You what?" My eyes bugged out, threatening to explode from their sockets.

"You know, doing the horizontal mambo? Riding the bologna pony?" Her smile got wider as my eyes continued to expand in my head until I was sure all that would be left of my face was my eyes.

"Relax, Logan, I know who and what Jake is. I don’t know if he is totally gay or not, but I do know he’s a dick most of the time. So, does this make it easier or harder to talk to me?" she grinned at me. I was stunned, totally shocked and…strangely liberated.

"That’s…cool that you just can talk about that, I was surprised is all," was the best I could say.

"Yeah, well, no point in hiding what everyone knows anyway. Jake is a dick, but damn nice to look at," she commented as we resumed walking.

"Yeah…Um, I mean," I panicked and she placed a hand on my arm.

"It’s ok, Logan, relax. Breathe," she commanded and I looked at her with awe.

"Are…are you…?" I couldn’t quite get the words out.

"A lezzie? No, but I am not stupid either. I see the way Jake looks at you. And I see how Pam looks at him when he looks at you. It’s not proof, but it’s enough," she smiled.

"I see," was all the mind numbing response I could supply.

"So, are you and Jake a couple then?" she asked me.

"No, no we aren’t," I said slowly, "He’s…too wild, he…Well, he just doesn’t show he cares about me more than just getting his rocks off. He’ll be really nice, cool to hang out with, and then jump at me like he has only enough blood in his body to power one head at a time."

"Most men are like that, doesn’t matter which side of the fence they swing on, but I will say this. No matter what a charmer Jake can be, there is something deep in that boy’s head that makes him just like devil spawn."

"I don’t really think of him as devil spawn," I said.

"That’s ‘cause you are attracted to him and want to like him. See, I have this theory on Jake. I don’t think he’s gay, I think he’s bi. But the thing is, he’ll swing with whoever makes him feel good right now and I think that, in the end, if and when he grows up some, he’ll go with whoever he loves. Or I could be full of shit," she laughed and I joined her.

"Listen, you want to catch a movie and go boy watching at the mall?" she asked.

"Sounds like more fun than I had planned on tonight, I have to ask though," and with that we headed back to my house and my grandmother.

At last the night of the homecoming dance was upon us. It hadn’t been easy to get there, what with Jake in full hormone overdrive. He kept threatening to buy me flowers! That’s one thing I can say for Jake, he always makes me laugh. Brian let me know it was an eighties theme dance, so Gram and I went to Carson’s and bought a nice pair of dress pants, a solid medium blue shirt and a red tie. Gram also insisted on shoes, which I have no idea where I might ever wear them again.

The day of the dance, a Saturday, Grandma was impatiently waiting for my grandfather to get back from the corner store. They had argued earlier in the day, and of course my grandmother won, about who could drive us tonight. Grandpa was arguing that he wanted to take Eddie to the dance and Grandma kept saying no, she just wouldn’t allow it.

Valerie showed up in a dress that hung nicely on her, and exposed her shoulders which were draped with her long hair. Grandpa announced he needed to go to the store, he’d be right back. Then he looked Valerie dead in the face and said, "You can’t be his date, you don’t look like a man at all."

So I stood there, mortified, while Valerie laughed at him and he harrumphed out the door to see the Eye-talian fellow on the corner. So that brought us to where we are now, waiting for him to return so we can leave, since he left without his house key.

"Elmer, of all times to have to run to the store, like he couldn’t have done this earlier?" she commented. At last he returned, small paper bag in hand. Gram breezed right by him and Valerie and I headed after her when my grandpa caught my arm and brandished his bag at me.

"I’ll see you after dinner," he said with a sly smile. So, naturally, I felt sick on the way to dinner. I tried to warn Gram that he was up to something, but she refused to hear anything concerning him since she was mad at him and would no doubt give him a piece of her mind when she got home. We finally arrived at Tivoli, a family priced Italian restaurant, and got out of the car. I waved to my gram, and headed inside with Valerie to our table, which was empty since we were the first to arrive.

Moments later the rest of the crew arrived and Jake grabbed a piece of bread form the table and practically swallowed it whole. He grinned at me and came over to our side of the table and whispered in my ear to come outside with him, he had something to show me.

"I don’t think," I began.

"Good idea, don’t, just come here," he said giggling and tugging at my arm. I went, but reluctantly. We stepped into the bathroom just as the hand dryer shut off and an older looking man left the room.

"You look really nice," Jake commented as his feet shuffled a bit as he leaned onto a stall.

"Thanks, you look pretty nice yourself," I replied with a mental shake, Jake looked better than nice, he was dressed so well I felt my reserves of determination melting under his smoldering gaze. I could have just…well, you know.

"I got you a small thing, since it’s like our first dance and all," he said with a small grin. My radar was instantly off the scale, Jake was on the prowl. His hand withdrew a small red carnation from his pocket, somewhat crumpled, but still I had to fight to not simply break down and take him in my arms right there.

"Jake, this isn’t a date between us, I just don’t think I am ready for that." I stated as firmly as I could.

"I was hoping maybe we could talk afterwards, I’ve tried to be good and not push you, but I like you," he said with a charming grin, I wonder if he has to practice that in a mirror?

"I like you too, but." It was my turn to be cut off.

"Then why are we holding back? Why are you being so damn frigid?" he asked me.

"That’s why," I said shaking my head, "You think the next level is touching, sex. Listen to me, Jake, I was in love once, or thought I was. I passed the whole respecting each other and learning about each other step and went right to tackle them on the bed," I said as I tried to hide my frustrated tears that were threatening to erupt.

"Ok, on the bed, you have my attention now!" Jake enthused.

"It was all wrong! I lost everything, Jake! If you want me, then you have to love me first and I have to love you," I said, now fighting an almost impossible urge to cry. "I won’t let you use me. I want to love you, Jake, I do. You can be so charming, and you’re handsome, but you are just too dangerous for me," I said sadly as I tried to go around him. He reached out tentatively and I pulled away as if scalded.

"Jesus, I wasn’t going to hurt you! Screw this, I think you are just going to sit there and be afraid no matter what I do," he said, dropping a red carnation, my gift, onto the tile of the bathroom floor.

All I could do was watch him go and wonder if I just blew it.